Talk to me nice!
How to Articulate Your Thoughts Precisely in Three Steps.
By: Andre Canales
Photo by Mike Meyers on Unsplash
Words have stunning potential. They make, but just as well, break. They exceed a simple definition — they’re meanings. Your words give your subliminal thoughts and sentiments the chance to be understood and acknowledged through your voice. Every word you say is important to every emotion and intention you feel, thus, it’s not the words you say, it’s how you say them.
Like any living creature, we're able to speak but only man was blessed with the ability to communicate. Communication is a privilege and a responsibility. You are responsible for every word said because thoughts come before communicating. Any living creature can speak, but communication demands the forethought and the practice to polish the skill to then socialize and confront efficiently. With any conflict, the first few words must always be about yourself.
#1. Say “I”
Start simple, with your sentences beginning with “I.” Center your focus within yourself and translate your sentiments. This is a patient practice called assertive communication. This is the time for you to think over and taste your words very well. These interpersonal messages are moments where you can be heard and acknowledged and a fruitful opportunity for the person whom you are speaking with to understand and connect.
Examples of “I” statements:
I feel…
I don’t like it…
I will…
#2. Be direct and detailed — Address what needs to change.
The only harm in not being open and honest is not saying the things you should say. Honoring the relationship begins with nurturing the relationship with the necessary skills being polished as the two of you grow more and more dedicated.
Correct the person’s behavior without provoking a conflict. A correction is an area of growth, not incompetency, thus, your correction should be gentle and peaceful. Point out areas of growth, and discuss. You should still be speaking interpersonally; still beginning your sentences with “I” followed by your sentiments and an addressed behavior.
“I feel disregarded when you don’t bring home flowers.”
#3. What do you need?
How are you the two of you going to get through things? Ask the question yourself.
“How are we going to get through this?” It will relieve the negative tension and shows that there’s a mutual understanding. The purpose of a discussion is to resolve the conflict, not aggravate it.
Offer your solutions, and if you can’t evoke any, perhaps they have a solution. Two devoted people within a relationship of any kind will be relentless in any situation before them.
“I feel disregarded when you don’t bring home flowers. How are we going to get through this?”
We communicate every day with partners, friends, and in professional and social settings. Improving your communication, discussion, and composure skills can better your connections and your ability to mitigate conflicts. When you speak hard and clear, people will listen to the interesting words you use. And when the passionate goal is to think and grow between two people, the two will always be a desirable finish to the other person.
